Many people are held back from creating the future that they dream of simply because they are unable to release the past. Unresolved issues with parents, or people with whom we have come into conflict, can be paralysing; preventing us from feeling the freedom to move forward by keeping us locked in a state of unexpressed anger or fear. Humiliating actions, harsh words, misunderstandings, violence, rejection - all these things leave their mark on our psyche and to some extent we all carry these wounds forward with us into subsequent encounters.
The difference, as Hermeticists say, lies only in degree. Some people's wounds ease with time. For many though, their wounds feel too deep to heal and this is not helped by the fact that they are never exposed to the full light of awareness. For example, sensitive people who have been particularly cruelly humiliated will often subconsciously go to any lengths to side-step a possible recurrence. Controlling behaviour, illness, lateness, food and/or drink addictions or other avoidance techniques are just some of the possible manifestations. Others take a more direct approach and simply decline to attend certain social situations and give personality types or specific people, who they perceive to constitute a potential similar threat, a very wide berth. Ultimately both methods are equally debilitating and these unhealed wounds can not only continue to hurt, but limit and isolate too. The walls that people erect to prevent unwelcome emotions from 'getting in' only serve to prevent the person from 'getting out' and fully participating with the natural flow and joy of life.
So, does any of what I have written above resonate with you? Do you have unresolved wounds that you would love to heal? Do you want to get back in the flow of life? Then what you should know is that there has never been a better time to do so than now. As an Astrologer and Self-empowerment Coach, I can tell you that throughout 2009 and into early 2010 we have a planetary alignment (which we have not seen since 1945) which will help support you in your efforts to heal whatever is causing you emotional pain - whenever it was caused.
The first thing is to recognise is that, as in the Homeopathic discipline, healing the symptoms is never going to be as effective as looking at the root cause and healing that. Usually with all forms of emotional pain, the root is not in the act of humiliation, rejection, violence etc., rather its root will lie in the feelings of powerlessness the situation engendered in you. A person's depression/ isolation/ paralysis/ fear/.... ( fill in the blank) never stems from the anger they feel towards someone else but the anger they feel towards themselves at they way they dealt with the incidence - or didn't deal with it - to their own satisfaction.
It is a Universal truth that your life can never truly be limited by the actions of another person, only by your reaction to what occurred. This is true even if another person stole your partner, your money, even your liberty or has inflicted some terrible lasting injury upon you. Anger at the way you perceive your life course was irrevocably changed by the actions of someone else are understandable but hanging on to that anger and letting it destroy your ability to be happy in the present moment is a choice you will have made - and, ergo, it's a choice you can change.
At heart, staying locked in anger reveals an underlying lack of trust and belief that you do have the ability to deal with whatever life throws at you and looking even deeper still, it reveals a lack of cognisance that you attracted a situation, however awful, because it contains a lesson that you and the perpetrator of your pain most need to learn in order for you both to progress and evolve at a soul level. That, after all, is the nature of this school we call Life.
Over the years I have counselled clients to utilise many forms of therapeutic tools in order to heal their wounds and become more whole - including journalling, role playing, visualising and talking to the higher Self (some call this Angel Therapy). Nothing has proved as effective as a technique which I have started to employ in recent times and which I have dubbed Silent Speaking.
Here's how it works....
With 'Angel Therapy' one is talking verbally or mentally to disincarnate 'angelic' entities and asking them to intervene or resolve your issue for you. With Silent Speaking you are dialoguing directly with the higher Self of the person who you feel has caused you harm. You are, in effect, taking responsibility and having the conversation you wish you had been brave enough to have (or were denied any opportunity to have) when the original wound was inflicted.
So, sit quietly and bring the person who you feel has caused you the most pain into your mind (whether they are living or passed on). See them, hear them, smell them, feel them as being present and then speak in your head, from your higher Self to their higher Self. This is an important point because if you try to speak from the ego/ personality level you will probably just end up hurling mental anger and insults. Furthermore if you were to set out to speak to their ego level you may find your ego doesn't believe they would sit still long enough to listen and hear you out, so you need to talk from the part of you - and to the part of them - that you know will dialogue without judgement.
Simply tell them, in the first person, how you feel. So for example, if someone at school bullied you, you might say:
I feel very annoyed that I was unable to stand up to you when you (use their name if you can recall it) belittled me in front of the class. I have spent years feeling debilitated by what occurred and although it's stupid I felt that it affected all my subsequent friendships with anyone who reminded me of you - and even with anyone who even vaguely resembled you or your mannerisms/accent ( fill in the blank). I wonder how you would have felt if the situation was reversed. I wish that I could have told you/asked you/informed you about ....... (fill in) I now ask for some resolution so that we can free our lower Selves from this tie that binds us together.
or
Dad, when you used to hit Mum in front of me I was really scared that she was going to die. I got really angry and I am still angry today. In fact whenever I feel powerless in any way I get angry and I always blame you for that. I may not be able to forgive you but intellectually, I can accept what happened was because you didn't know how to control your own feelings. Emotionally I am still affected and I wish to be able to express myself freely without fear of retribution or loss of control, please can you help me find a way...
Basically you say whatever it is that you would want to say to the person who hurt you, as long as it is a sensible and not a tirade of expletives and blame. You always end your 'Silent Speak' session by asking for some resolution to be shown to you both so you can heal - or words to that effect. I don't find that you need to talk about forgiveness - but it can't hurt. Forgiveness does not mean you have to like someone or forget what they did, just that you can see why they acted the way they did and understand it.
What I have found is that usually within days, if not quicker, something will happen that will serve to give you some form of proof that your message has been heard and understood - even if the person has departed this earthly plane. This is what brings resolution and heals, once and for all.
It works because your higher Self is conversing with their higher Self and these exist in the etheric levels, which are not bound by space and time and other physical laws. Ultimately you are connecting with the source that flows equally through them and through you but which differentiated itself at birth into your separate bodies and personalities. This is what is meant when you hear the phrase 'we are all one' or 'the Universe is mind'.
If you do not need to use this technique to remove longstanding blocks between you and another person, you can use it in your daily life instead. All of us give and inflict pain from time to time. If someone ignored you, or did something you wish you could confront them about - even yesterday or today - have a chat with their higher Self tonight about how you are feeling and then watch what happens. Likewise if you did something that you now regret you can heal the issue in super quick time. Simply open your heart to them and tell them what was happening for you and how sorry you are.
It is said that all resolution arrives through communication. No one said it has to be face to face or verbal. Communication takes many forms and this form heals because your thoughts, which are part of the Universal Mind, are the most powerful tool you possess.
"Out there beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there" - Rumi
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying this. When you can release the past, you free up room to create a joy-filled future.
© Kathryn Cassidy 2009
